Hello my friend,
Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”
The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
“The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad - because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.” - Alan Watts
The only certain thing in life is uncertainty.
Much of our anxiety, fear and worry arises from external factors.
Circumstances we have little or zero control over.
The instant assumption that something is either good or bad.
Trying to take control of these only makes us suffer.
The message of the story is to grow an acceptance of external events.
Despite how challenging they seem, rarely could we have influenced or changed what happened.
We often have very little or zero control over them.
All the worrying in the world won’t make a difference to the outcome.
Only to the stress and anxiety we cause to ourselves.
They did and will happen anyway.
Not only that but they may indeed work out or be for the best.
The hardest moments may turn out to be a godsend.
We will never know in the moment.
Take a moment to look back over some key moments in your life.
I bet you’ll find that many of the bad events actually turned out for the better, and vice versa.
The story about the farmer is the perfect reminder of releasing our grip on what we cannot control, whilst simultaneously reminding us that we can stay calm, grounded and optimistic despite the uncertainty.
This applies to our self belief and confidence, too.
It must only be built internally and on what we can influence.
What we have control over.
Not the outcomes or external circumstances.
They are not within our control.
If we allow our confidence to be built or broken based on those we will never make real progress.
It certainly won’t be sustainable.
When it comes to finding more peace, fulfilment and joy in our lives the exact same applies.
Focus on what we can control and accept what we cannot.
Life will throw up all sorts of challenges and we won’t be able to control the large majority of them.
The more at ease we are with that, the better life gets.
Not only that but the worst may turn out to be the best.
Maybe.
Thanks for reading.
With Love, Nick x
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