Hello my friend,
Courage first. Confidence later.
Much like action precedes motivation, confidence comes after having the courage to do.
It's easy to get this mixed up.
We like to wait for the confidence to do the given thing, yet it never seems to show up.
From wanting it for public speaking to taking on a new challenge to changing an important habit in our lives, confidence doesn’t just show up. We have to precede it with the doing.
Countless people have a terrifying fear of public speaking.
Why? Because they say they don’t have the confidence or are too nervous.
But this is a catch 22.
The nerves will never reduce and the confidence will never grow if they don’t attempt or start in the first place. Then if they don’t show some courage to repeat and continue trying.
Of course there are areas and tools specific required to develop our ability and performance. This goes for just about any area we would like to see improvement and growth.
But these tools are useless without the practice of doing it in the first place.
It is always the critical step.
Starting a practice, making an attempt or creating the change, despite not feeling prepared, ready or qualified.
Then and only then can we add the tools and strategies.
By refining and developing the skill set.
By asking and receiving feedback.
By finessing the details.
But none of these matter if we don't have the courage to do first.
The people I've seen make (by far) the most progress in their field are those who aren't afraid to look stupid or to make mistakes.
The ones who understand that confidence is grown through providing evidence to themselves.
Those who develop a growth mindset and do not fear getting it wrong.
They are the do-ers.
They feel nervous like everyone else but they take action.
They own it.
They use courage and their confidence grows.
Then a turning point arrives. Their ability and performance skyrockets.
They don’t know when or where, but it always happens.
When we do this a moment will come where we see just how much progress we’ve made and how far we’ve come.
We cannot build confidence without doing the reps first.
If you don't feel ready that is perfectly normal. It means now is the perfect time to start.
Whatever that thing is for you.
Take the action.
Gain the confidence.
Perform on another level.
Things I’m learning
Relationships are the most important factor in long term happiness.
Across more than eight decades, the clearest and most consistent finding from the Harvard Study of Adult Development is this: the quality of our relationships—emotional warmth, trust, and support—is the single most important predictor of long-term happiness and health. It’s not how many people we know, but how safe and truly connected we feel.
The early bird gets the worm, the persistent bird gets the buffet.
“A woodpecker can tap twenty times on a thousand trees and get nowhere, but stay busy. Or he can tap twenty-thousand times on one tree and get dinner.” - Seth Godin
Writing to forget.
“I never wrote things down to remember; I always wrote things down so I could forget.” - Matthew McConaughey
Question
Problems in life are guaranteed. What are more of the problems you would like to have?
That’s all for this week, thank you for reading.
Enjoy the process.
With Love, Nick.