Hello my friend,
Tear up the to-do list.
It will never end.
One problem that gets crossed off will quickly produce another.
More post-it notes than you could count.
We like to be in control of our lives.
We also like to feel like we are making progress. Constantly. More feels more.
We wake up with a sense of “productivity debt,” as writer Oliver Burkeman points out. Feeling we need to do X amount of things throughout the day just to earn that day.
To then feel good enough about ourselves.
So we create endless to-do lists of various tasks, most of them being of little or no importance to us, or anyone else for that matter.
I have been doing this very thing a lot recently.
Going through an uncertain period, I have started trying to regain control over everything.
Lacking an ability to switch off, I have been hurrying around first thing each morning trying to get an endless amount of (mostly pointless) tasks done. Of course, I pretend to myself that indeed they are all important things.
I create endless tasks before ruthlessly chasing them. Believing a false narrative that they will equip me with a true sense of productivity and make me feel I’m making real progress.
Deeper down, It create a sense that I am taking back full control of life.
Back in the driving seat and feeling better about myself.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work.
It’s all an illusion. It just makes things worse.
The list, alongside the anxiety, gets bigger.
Here is the irony.
Contrary to what we think is common sense, it is in the letting go of the “to-do” list (or indeed not creating one at all) that often brings the best outcomes.
Not only this, but we actually do have permission to relax fully whilst all the “problems” remain around us.
We soon see that nothing bad happens.
Despite our brains very much believing the opposite.
It’s difficult to put this into practice at first. Our mind screams how lazy, or unproductive, or downright incompetent we are. But then something else happens.
Things become clearer.
We learn what tasks actually matter, and all of the many that really do not. Then we often end up working better on those “actually mattering” tasks.
We learn that nearly everything we were trying to tick off the list has absolutely no influence or importance on our life.
We will be absolutely fine without doing any of them.
This is not to say we should ignore all our problems or tasks, and it definitely doesn’t mean avoiding our responsibilities. Some stuff will need to be done.
For us, for our friends, for our boss.
It’s just to say we shouldn’t be dominated or constantly clouded by an endless list of things we feel we must do. Or indeed create for ourselves in the very first place.
When we let go, it frees up time and resources to focus on those things that are actually important to us.
There will always be things to be done. We will never be able to get on top.
We will never complete the game of task completion. We already lost that game.
“You understand that the plane has already crashed - it crashed for you the moment you were born.” - Oliver Burkeman
We can never fix nor do everything.
So maybe, just maybe, sit back a little. Take a deep breath, take in your surroundings, and forget about all the endless jobs you feel you “need to do”.
Because we don’t need to do anything.
Furthermore, we will never have full control.
We will never complete the endless list.
So with that thought in mind, we should all rest a little easier and spend more time on those things that are actually meaningful for us.
Anyway, that’s one more thing off my to-do list! ;-)
Until next time.
With Love, Nick.