I will be a failure.
That’s what I thought I’d think of myself.
Running from Liverpool to London in a week.
The equivalent of 9 marathons in 7 days.
The truth is before taking on the run of around 365 kilometres down to the capital, I had some mejor fear and doubt.
I was overwhelmed by the fear of failing or not being capable.
It was unknown.
Nobody (that I could find) had ever run this route before.
The imposter syndrome that that person could possibly be me was in full force.
When I was younger I used to carry a lot of self doubt, whilst being very ambitious at the same time.
This is an interesting cocktail, which I’m sure some others might relate with.
I was always very driven yet was scared of risk.
Scared of failing and scared of what others thought of me.
I won’t list all the many examples but this challenge to run down the UK was certainly a good one.
I actually had the idea to do this run around 10 years earlier.
But I didn’t take the jump until all these years later, until August of 2024.
This challenge was a dream of mine.
To honour my dad’s life after he died from brain tumours.
To raise as much awareness & money for the Brain Tumour Research charity that supported our family since day one.
In the years after his death in December 2011, I did various other charity events instead.
But this was the biggie that was deep inside me.
I knew I was putting it off.
The quiet excuses that we convince ourselves “make sense”.
My dad was from Liverpool, my mum from London. I wanted to connect the two places after he died.
My dad (begrudgingly) moved down to the capital to be with my mum.
The truth was he was a Liverpool man through and through and had no interest in London.
Being from the Liverpool, in the north, this isn’t uncommon.
“They won’t say hello to you much down here” he jokingly used to tell me.
“They certainly won’t invite you in for a cup of tea!”
If you are from or know the UK well, you will understand!
Anyway I digress…
When I started the run from Liverpool, the logistics, being on my own, the navigation, the impact on my body, and all the uncertainty still existed.
But the fear didn’t.
Once I had committed and taken the action I wasn’t fearful anymore.
I got lost getting out of Liverpool so there was another moment, but then gone!
I couldn’t believe I put it off for so long.
But that’s what fear (and overthinking) can do to you.
It was all in my head and the only thing I needed to do was to commit and take action on it.
As they say, the best time to start was then, the second best time to start is now.
That being said, I believe in fate and that the timing ended up being perfect.
Everything fell into place.
It was an experience I’ll never forget.
The support I got, extraordinary.
The personal journey it took me on, life changing.
So what is the message here and what did the takeaway from this?
It taught me how the things we really want from life are waiting on the other side of fear.
It reminded me that everything really worth doing takes courage.
That not doing is often a far bigger risk in life than doing.
That if we tell ourselves we can or we can’t, we’re most probably right.
And moreover, if we fail, so what? That’s where all the feedback and learning is.
You win or you learn.
That’s the journey.
I understand now that if fear or doubt is standing in the way it’s a signal to move towards it, not back away.
To lean into discomfort, not to avoid it.
That’s where the magic happens.
Thank you for reading.
You can read about the run here
With Love, Nick.
If you’d like to chat about how I can support you or simply share something holding you back, you can book a free 30 minute call with me here