Hello my friend,
Will it ever feel enough?
I quoted Oliver Burkeman (one of my favorite writers) in last week’s article.
He regularly points out in his work that unless we become fully comfortable with the fact we can only ever do 0.01% of available options in this short life we will always feel like we are coming up short.
The sooner we recognise this truth, the better.
This isn’t bad news, actually quite on the contrary.
It brings us meaning and intention like nothing else to those few things that do matter.
The options of what we could potentially try, start or pursue are near enough unlimited.
It causes a lot of our stress when we’re always thinking that there is something else we could be doing or something we’re missing out on.
Something better than whatever it is we are doing now.
This could, of course, be true.
But in many cases it’s not and all it does is create decision paralysis, anxiety and procrastination on what’s in front of us right now.
The few things that can bring the most meaning to our lives.
Always thinking there is something else or feeling like we are missing out is created from pure imagination and nearly always isn’t true.
Yes we are missing out in the sense of the words but why does that presume we’re actually missing anything?
It blind sights us from going deep on the meaningful things we already have right in front of us.
Procrastination, worry and FOMO love to come knocking when we think over the many other potential options that life might offer us.
All the other things we could be doing with our time.
But life is finite. It is brief.
It hands us a very short amount of time to become somewhat serious on just a handful of choices that we make.
There will never be enough time to do everything, therefore the very best option to us is to decide on these most important and to go deeper on them.
Getting clearer on our values can really help us here.
Once we are clearer on our values we will become clearer on who we are and furthermore what we want.
Once we know this we will understand better these limited amount of things we would like to pursue more seriously with our lives.
It will present us with more information on what is or isn’t valuable or important to us. When it comes to making choices we can put them through our values system to gain more clarity on the best course to take.
There will always be an abundance of choice in this world and we shouldn’t forget what an enormous privilege that is.
But it can become a burden when we feel the urge to constantly change course, or want to do everything, or that we could always be upgrading or doing better in one area or another.
The truth is there will always be something else but always chasing it comes at a price.
The debt will be never finding true or deep meaning in the very few things we actually have the time to do or that truly matter.
Choosing to go deeper on those very limited, yet important things that most align with who we are and what we want.
But we can’t want everything.
When we fully accept the brevity of our life and the fact we will never be able to do the smallest amount of potential things on offer, the more meaning those things we do choose to pursue will have.
What I’m learning
Something boring.
“Boredom is unappreciated serenity.” - Jimmy Carr
A stoic trick for instant gratitude.
“Just imagine that you had died yesterday and had lost everything. Yesterday was your last day. Whatever is left on your to-do list was never going to be realised. The last thing you said to your friends and family was the last thing you’re ever going to say.
But now, imagine you get a second chance.
You’re reborn into this moment. Now you get this extra slice of life to live from this moment forward.
How grateful would you be to be able to just engage the challenges that you are confronting today?
Most of us would be extraordinarily grateful to get that opportunity to reboot and live out whatever this next chapter is, difficulties and all.” - Sam Harris
The brain likes to think.
Studies have shown that we can talk to ourselves at the equivalent of 4,000 words per minute, which is the rate an M-134 assault rifle shoot bullets. - Will Storr
Question
What is a hard situation you’re facing that by looking at differently might be making you stronger or better?
That’s all for this week folks!
Thank you for being here as always.
With love, Nick x