Hello my friend,
Contribution is happiness.
I’ve been consumed by this subject of late.
When solely focusing on what I’m trying to achieve something always feels missing.
The endless tasks, measurable goals and result chasing scratch an itch but they never feel enough.
It doesn’t matter how much good thinking I’m doing, action I’m taking or progress I’m making, if it’s only about myself it never truly satisfies.
In a world today where most have access to almost unlimited opportunities and abundance so many still feel a sense of purposelessness.
Left feeling unfulfilled and unworthy.
How can this be? How do we overcome this and find true fulfillment and purpose?
The answer is unequivocally simple.
It’s being of service to others.
It’s contributing in one form or another. It doesn’t matter if it serves one person or a million. Whether the contribution is tiny or grand. It’s all relevant.
It’s through community and service to other people that frees us from ourselves. That separates us from the constant narration in our heads we get caught up in.
Modern life and society likes to make us feel like we are always competing.
That ‘I’ must come first.
Giving us the tips, hacks and courses to ‘get ahead’ of the rest.
There is no such thing as competition or rivalry apart from a made up concept we tend to adhere to.
Real happiness comes doesn’t come from being in front of others.
It comes from being with others.
Selfless service for another person.
Alongside an acceptance that we are already enough.
We contribute to others through the simplest of acts.
Working on ourselves to be better for others is a wonderful act of service.
These contributions in turn fill us like nothing else possibly could.
The more time we spend in our own heads thinking about we want and what we need the further away happiness will be.
If we are doing something only for our own benefit we will always feel disconnected.
We will always feel so when we aren’t contributing to another.
This is what community is and what we were made to do.
To grow, to serve, to thrive - together.
People are feeling more isolated and lonely than ever, with anxiety and depression rates having risen significantly. We are living in a world with all but everything available, with access to all but anything at the snap of a finger or a touch of a screen.
Yet we feel something is missing.
We learn to accept and love ourselves through contribution and service. The act of showing up for someone, being kind, lending a hand, providing a listening ear. These are contributions that really matter.
The acts we carry out with no intention or need to receive in return.
Unconditional contribution.
The more we pour our energy into people and our community the more purpose, fulfillment and happiness we will have.
‘Running Minds’.
At the start of 2025 I created a group to bring people in the community together through movement and conversation.
Although the numbers are low, the feeling and sense of contribution is high.
Seeing people come together to share and exchange with one another whilst investing in their wellbeing has been so rewarding.
It fills me more than almost anything else.
Because it’s not about me, it’s about others.
It’s about providing space to help someone on their journey to improve their health.or to feel supported on any issue they may have.
A space people can share and be themselves.
A place for togetherness.
If you’re in Madrid you would be very welcome to join! Drop me a message.
Things I’m learning
Having a narcissistic parent.
People with a narcissistic parent will often misinterpret neutral facial expressions as negative. This means you have been in situations where you thought people were angry, disappointed or unhappy with you, yet because of your background you misinterpret neutral expressions as negative.
If a parent was critical or negative towards us we end up taking that into our social interactions. When seeing a neutral expression from another person our intuition suggests they think negatively or hate us, when nearly always this isn’t true.
The benefits of optimism.
A 2024 study published in BMJ Mental Health found that resilience, perseverance, and optimism were associated with a reduced risk of all-cause mortality.
Triggering these positive emotions may enhance the protective effects of psychological resilience and mitigate the negative impact of accumulated adversity on mental health in adults. - David Silverberg.
The reason you’re self critical.
“Endless self-criticism is usually a sign that you want to be seen as valuable rather than to be of value.” - Joe Hudson
Question
Think about a challenging situation you’re facing right now. Are you focusing on all the things that could go wrong, or everything that could go right?
That’s all for this week.
Thank you for reading.
With love, Nick x
p.s. it’s not about me