Hello my friend,
How do you face the unpredictability and uncertainty of life?
“It helps if you can realise that this part of life when you don’t know what’s coming is often the part that people look back on with the greatest affection.”
I came across this quote from Ann Patchett very recently.
It reminded me just how much time and energy we are willing to sacrifice in order to find certainty.
To gain control. To steer the ship exactly the direction we want.
To avoid the icebergs and to ensure smooth sailing into the sunset.
To ensure we are on the path we are supposed to be on.
But this isn’t how life will ever work.
And deep down we know this.
Because it wouldn’t make sense otherwise.
Moreover it certainly wouldn’t be much fun!
Yet the urge to control each part of our destiny remains strong.
Take a moment and look back over your own life.
How many of the great memories and stories you have have come from moments you could have never anticipated?
That you never expected or knew would happen?
I bet nearly all of them.
Those moments of joy, elation and breakthroughs.
We had no certainty over them or even any idea they could indeed happen in the first place.
If we did have everything planned out in advance with 100% certainty of how they would all go, would there be much joy in living?
They certainly wouldn’t make for a good story around the fire.
Most people avoid fortune tellers for this very reason.
We don’t want to know everything.
Partly to not know if something bad will happen.
But mostly because it goes against one of our key human needs - uncertainty.
It’s the fun of the rollercoaster ride with the turns you haven’t yet experienced.
It’s the movie you pay for where you don’t know the ending.
It’s the holiday destination you book where you’ve never visited before.
It’s the restaurant you try where you don’t yet know what the food will taste like.
It’s going to watch your favourite and utterly inconsistent sports team.
The buzz comes from knowing we don’t know what will happen.
We actually love novelty.
Therefore we can apply this to all the uncertainty in our lives.
The stress it is causing us right now is mostly a complete waste of time.
It simply robs us of the present moment.
Embracing the beauty of this very uncertain life.
In fact that is what makes it so beautiful and unique.
So think back over those fondest memories you have.
When you didn’t have a clue what was coming next.
When the things you worried most about turned out to be blessings.
Whatever was coming next was already coming.
Save yourself the worry and the stress.
Take one hand off the steering wheel.
Live in the unknown a little more.
It will work out the way it will work out.
And you’ll most likely look back on those times with the greatest affection.
Thanks for reading.
Love. Nick.
Photo: A very uncertain period in my life in 2019. I took some time to travel to Canada and the States. I stressed a lot about my future. Looking back it was one of the greatest times of my life.
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