Hello my friend,
What if we accepted things exactly as they were?
What if we weren’t concerned with the happenings outside of us?
With an understanding there is a greater picture.
That everything went the way it should have.
Even if you don’t believe in this it offers a key perspective.
That there is so much we cannot change and so much we cannot control.
Fully accepting this would gift us a far more peaceful life.
The stoics used to live by this.
They knew that 99% of what happened to them and outside of them was completely out of their control.
They saw mistakes, problems and life happenings not as something to bemoan, regret or fear but as if they happened just as they were supposed to.
That they all presented a welcome test and opportunity.
Each offering a unique opportunity to learn, adapt and to be better.
They believed strongly in accepting fully the things they couldn’t control, letting go of things that had already passed and welcoming whatever came in the future.
“Everything that happens, happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so.” - Marcus Aurelius
It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about them but it means we don’t need to have our presence stolen, our state shifted and our anxiety racing.
None of that is necessary.
Yet we bury our attention and energy into so much that we cannot change or control.
We see them as if something is wrong and that must somehow be fixed.
Several years ago I came to realise that the large majority of my own discomfort, frustration and misery was down to placing far too much of my attention on things outside of my control.
On the circumstances or scenarios happening around me.
On what others were doing or saying.
On what could or should have happened differently.
On how I wanted change something outside of me.
Thinking over past ‘mistakes’ and attempting to understand why things happened the way they happened.
What I should have done differently.
But then I realised.
They happened exactly as they should have happened.
Because they did.
I couldn’t change them.
I had no control over them and even if I did I certainly didn’t now.
Realising they have shaped me and brought me to where I am today.
Accepting what has come and what will be.
Regardless of how hard I try to grip the wheel.
Learning that I can only ever control my mindset, framing and my response.
The sooner we accept there will be a million and one things we cannot control or change the better off we will be.
Life will immediately get better.
Work with me
I help people with public speaking and communication through tailored coaching. Please reach out here for a conversation to learn more.
Things I’m learning
Poor grip strength reduces lifespan.
A 2022 study found that poor handgrip strength in midlife was associated with cognitive decline a decade later (7). More than 190,000 dementia-free men and women (average age 56) were involved in the study and followed for at least 10 years.
Participants underwent brain imaging and took tests that measured handgrip strength, problem-solving skills, memory, and reasoning abilities. People with lower grip scores were more likely to have problems with thinking and memory- and an increased risk of dementia - later in life than those who'd had higher handgrip strength scores at the start of the study.
How to grow.
“Stress + rest = growth. This equation holds true regardless of what it is that you are trying to grow.” - Brad Stulberg
Stamina for life.
“Endurance is the struggle to continue against a mounting desire to stop.” - Alex Hutchinson
Question
What is one question you wish you had asked someone but didn’t? Who else could you ask it to?
That’s all for this week.
Thank you for taking the time to read.
With Love, Nick x
P.S: Running Minds will still be going as I step away for a few weeks. If you are in Madrid and you want to come along for a run, a walk or a coffee conversation drop me an email. More exciting meets and events to come this summer!